Showing posts with label hurt. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hurt. Show all posts

Sunday, August 27, 2017

Forgive, Forget, Move On - Now Think On This by Steve Martin

Forgive, Forget, Move On

Now Think On This
Steve Martin


“Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 3:13-15, NASU)


Have you ever noticed the “tools of the trade” that fishermen, who want to catch the bottom-feeding fish, use? One of them that I am aware of is the sinker, the little lead ball-shaped object. Once tightly fastened to the fishing line, not too far from the hook and bait, its purpose is to take the fishing bait to the bottom of the pond or lake. That is where the bottom-feeders are sucking up what garbage and other less-nutrient food particles end up once they have fallen to the bottom. Down to where it is dark and murky.

The enemy of our soul likes to hang around bottom-feeders. These are the ones who have been hurt, wounded and continue to walk around in bitterness. They too would rather live where it is dark and murky; where leaden lines bring down more bait to subsist on. Rather than forgive and forget, as we are commanded to do, they choose to hang onto the hardness of heart which has resulted, and stay as they are. Living in darkness, in the basement, means you don’t have to face the light. "No more chance to get hurt again by others" is your mindset.

But in fact, it is the light which will save you from the darkness. It is getting the infection out, the scab removed, the hurt and wounds healed that will give you the life you were meant to be free to participate in. The cross of Jesus sets us free from all this.

I have seen many people wounded in their walk with Christian brethren, both from leadership and other members of the church congregation. Rather than walk in forgiveness and forgetting what lies behind, they instead make the choice to not let go of the hurt and carry their wounds. What once was great fellowship and sharing a common bond in the Lord’s grace and mercy, it has instead become an infected sore, which never seems to go away. Another church, another day, another attempt at hiding it away doesn’t make it go away.

“Bear with one another; if anyone has a complaint against someone else, forgive him. Indeed, just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must forgive.” (Colossians 3:13, Complete Jewish Bible)

The ones who resist the command to forgive will continue to grow in the hardness of heart, the darkness, that robs all of the freedom to walk in love. By not letting go, through the act of forgiveness, will keep you from the trust and forbearance we need in walking with one another. The new relationships you will endeavor to make will have the shadow of the previous ones preventing you from true fellowship.

We must learn to forgive each other continually, forgetting the past, and move on to fulfill the call and purpose we each have in the Body of Messiah. There are too many dying people out there whom we are sent to help, but will not be able to if we insist on protecting our space and not letting these things go.

“Above all these, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together perfectly; and let the shalom which comes from the Messiah be your heart’s decision-maker, for this is why you were called to be part of a single Body.

And be thankful - let the Word of the Messiah, in all its richness, live in you, as you teach and counsel each other in all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude to God in your hearts. That is, everything you do or say, do in the name of the Lord Yeshua, giving thanks through him to God the Father.” (Colossians 3:14-17, Complete Jewish Bible)
  
We don’t have the “luxury” of being bottom-feeders. We can't continue to let offenses, being offended, and petty arguments keep us from walking in the light.

We must bring everything to the His light, to forgive those who hurt us, and get on with the work we instead must be doing. There are bigger issues to deal with, so walking in forgiveness daily is a necessity.

I have been hurt. You have been hurt. Insisting on living in unforgiveness will only deepen the infection that Jesus Christ died for, to save you from.

We must repent from our sin of allowing unforgiveness to rule in our hearts. There must not be any place for it in your life, nor mine.

I am still learning how to live in forgiving others. Some days are better than others, but I have no choice but choose forgiveness, if I am to do that which He has saved me to do, and requiring of me to walk out.

I hope you are too.

Shalom and ahava (peace and love in Hebrew).
 
Now think on this,


Steve Martin
Founder/President
Love For His People, Inc.


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Now Think On This - in the Year of our Lord 08.23.17 - #309 – “Forgive, Forget, Move On” – Sunday, 5:55 pm

Thursday, February 12, 2015

6 Reasons You Should Never Give Up on Church - J. LEE GRADY


Lonely guy
Have you simply given up on church? (iStock photo)

Fire in My Bones, by J. Lee Grady
I've experienced heaven on earth the past few days. I found it in Durban, South Africa, while visiting one of the most joy-filled congregations I've ever encountered in my travels.
It's called His Church, and this 1,000-member multicultural church has many wonderful qualities: a loving pastor (a brave woman, Fiona Des Fontaine) who is committed to preaching God's Word without compromise; a powerful outreach to the community; a healthy team of pastors who serve with no signs of competition or ego; and a Bible college where many young leaders are being trained.
I know there are many churches around the world today that have qualities similar to His Church. Yet many Christians—especially in the United States—are giving up on church because they were hurt by pastors or wounded by other Christians, or because they simply decided to "go it alone." They are knows as "dones"—people who are "done" with church.
"Dones" might watch an occasional church service on television or meet with a few Christian friends over coffee for a casual Starbucks version of "church lite." They still consider themselves serious Christians, but they want nothing more of pastors, tithing, scheduled meetings or church drama.
If you or someone you love has given up on church, I'm not here to condemn you. I've had my share of disappointments in church over the years, including some spiritual abuse. But I want to offer six reasons why you shouldn't let a bad experience end your connection to God's people.
1. The church is Christ's body on earth. With all its flaws, the church is still God's Plan A. Jesus announced before He went to the cross: "And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build My church, and the gates of Hades shall not prevail against it" (Matt. 16:18). Jesus intends to use the church—even in its weakness—as His primary tool to reach the world with the gospel. Heaven does not have a Plan B. Jesus is the head of his church (see Col. 1:18) and we are His hands and feet. To reject the church is to reject God's ultimate strategy to bring heaven's kingdom on earth.
2. The Holy Spirit has called us to work and flow together. When we were born again and baptized, the Bible says we were mystically unified with all other born-again believers and connected to each other by the Holy Spirit. The Lord also connects people in local congregations. This connection is holy and we should never make light of it or damage it. Paul told the Ephesians to "preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace" by being in close fellowship with each other (Eph. 4:3). To reject this union of believers is to dishonor the work of the Spirit.
3. God accomplishes more through His corporate people than through isolated individuals. In the Old Testament the Holy Spirit worked primarily through the nation of Israel, and through individuals who had special callings and remarkable courage. But in the age of the New Covenant, the Spirit dwells in every Christian believer, and the corporate church makes a much bigger impact. This is why Jesus told His disciples after He went to the cross that we would do "greater works" than He did on earth (see John 14:12). And because healthy churches can pool resources and organize volunteers, they are able to offer ministry to children, youth, families, singles, the needy and the lost overseas—in a way you could never do while sitting home alone.
4. God's authority flows through His church, not through "lone ranger" Christians. Some people who've been hurt by church leaders feel they can never submit to another pastor again, nor will they honor a person who is called by God to carry the authority of a minister. Yet God has delegated to certain people the task of building up the church (see Eph. 4:11-12). It's totally acceptable for you to leave an unhealthy church with poor leadership, but you should quickly find a new church where you can be equipped to fulfill your ministry. It was never intended for a Christian to live with a my-way-or-the-highway attitude.
5. It is by living in Christian community that we learn to love and serve. The Book of Hebrews was written to a group of Jewish Christians who were thinking of abandoning their Christian faith because of persecution. Some of them even stopped attending church, but Paul addressed their disillusionment by saying: "And let us consider how to spur one another to love and to good works. Let us not forsake the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but let us exhort one another, especially as you see the Day approaching" (Heb. 10:24-25). People who live in isolation find it difficult to develop character, and they often get discouraged; those who walk together in close fellowship inspire each other, and they improve each other just as iron sharpens iron.
6. If you leave the church because of hurt or resentment, you make it more difficult to find healing and reconciliation. It might sound spiritual to say you are pulling away from people to focus on God. But the New Testament says your relationship with God is directly related to how you relate to others. John wrote: "Anyone who claims to live in God's light and hates a brother or sister is still in the dark" (1 John 2:9, MSG). People may have hurt you, but God will also use people to heal you. Don't let the hurts of the past paint you into a lonely corner. Choose to forgive. Take a risk and keep loving.
Please don't check out of church or give up on God's flawed saints. There is no perfect church—and if there were, it would not be perfect after you joined! There is a place for you in God's eternal family.
J. Lee Grady is the former editor of Charisma. You can follow him on Twitter@leegrady. He is the author of several books including his latest, The Truth Sets Women Free (Charisma House.) You can learn more about his ministry, The Mordecai Project, at themordecaiproject.org.
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Friday, November 1, 2013

Recovering From Church Burns: Advice for the Wounded By Wendy Alsup

Recovering From Church Burns: Advice for the Wounded By Wendy Alsup



Here's my advice for those burned by the church. It's simple, yet profound. Here goes:

Trust the church.

I need to qualify that, right? How do you trust the same entity that wounded you deeply? It's fundamentally helpful to distinguish between the church local and the church global.

The global church is made up of local churches, some with organized denominational structures and some without. When you've been burned by a local congregation or even the larger denominational system with which they are affiliated, it's helpful to zoom out in your own head and remember that the "big C" church is way bigger than the particular group that hurt you.

The group that wounded you is really just a very small subset of the larger body of Christ. And the worst thing you can do after being burned by a local congregation is to allow your beliefs on the larger body to fall apart.

We Need Community and Shepherds

Here are my core convictions on the body of Christ, which I think are well supported by Scripture: We will never reach a point of Christian maturity in which we no longer need community. And we will never reach a point in Christian maturity in which we no longer need shepherds. Furthermore, you will probably never need a community with a shepherd quite as much as you need one after you've been burned by a previous community with a shepherd.

I was burned by a church years ago, but praise God He convinced me that I still needed the church. So I crawled in to a new church, wounded and weary. I had listened to their pastor's sermons on podcasts for months, and I knew that, at least according to the sermons, this church valued the Bible and grace.

For a long time, our family was the last one in to sit down and the first one out when the service was over. I observed, and I listened. And over time, I got the courage to reach out.

Five years later, I have never once regretted opening myself up to that body. Now, this is not to say they are perfect or the pastors never make a mistake. It's not to say that one day I won't be burned by this congregation (or that I won't hurt others). But the bottom line of the Christian life is that we need community, and we need pastors.

Though I may be hurt again by my community or my pastors, I still need them. The possibility of being hurt in the future is there, but it is only a possibility. However, my need for them is not a possibility. It is an actual, factual, present need.

The Good Shepherd

About a year into my time at my current church, my pastor preached this sermon from Philippians 2. He made two particularly important points. First, God's good under shepherds are recognized by their humility, not their giftedness. The Good Shepherd lays down his life for the sheep, and He is the model for His under shepherds.

Beware the shepherd whose personal burdens and needs drive the church's agenda or eclipse the needs of the sheep. When the needs of the sheep must submit to the needs of the shepherd, this is not leadership like Christ (or Paul, Timothy or Epaphroditis).

Second, when God has brought the humble under shepherd into your life, like Paul's exhortation concerning Epaphroditus in Philippians 2, welcome them with joy and receive them with honor.

The imperfect but humble under shepherd still exists! God didn't abandon us to only poor leaders after Paul, Timothy and Epaphroditus passed on. It is to our benefit, not detriment, to receive them and honor them in the name of Christ. 

My son pulled a hot curling iron down on his hand when he was 1 year old. I picked him up before he even started crying and ran to the sink to run cold water over his hand, followed by an ice pack I held periodically on the burned area. Later, in the emergency room, a nurse told me that was absolutely the best thing to do for his burned hand.

Sure, we got the heat away from his hand first, but then we needed to apply the opposite, a cold ice pack, to really undo the damage the heat - even removed from his hand - was still doing to his skin.

You Need a Pastor

I am growing a firm conviction that this is the remedy for those burned by the church. If you were wounded by a self-serving, proud, authoritarian pastor, the answer is not to never allow yourself to sit under another pastor. The answer is to find a humble, sacrificial pastor who is willing to lay down his interests for those of his sheep.

Sitting under humble leadership is the antidote to the sting of the burn from the proud. Like my son, you may still have a scar when it's all said and done, but the scar of distrusting all Christian community and leadership for all time is so much worse than the one you may have when you allow yourself to re-enter community and sit under Christ like leadership.

If you've been burned by a pastor, you need a pastor.

"So I exhort the elders among you, as a fellow elder and a witness of the sufferings of Christ, as well as a partaker in the glory that is going to be revealed: shepherd the flock of God that is among you, exercising oversight, not under compulsion, but willingly, as God would have you; not for shameful gain, but eagerly; not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock. 

And when the chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the unfading crown of glory. Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for 'God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble'" (1 Pet. 5:1-5, ESV).

Wendy Alsup

Building Your Life on the 
Basic Truths of Christianity

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Monday, October 21, 2013

God's Mysterious Ways #8: "I Cried Out To God, 'What Are You Doing to Me?' He Said..." - Bill Yount

Bill Yount:
God's Mysterious Ways #8: 
"I Cried Out To God, 
'What Are You Doing to Me?' 
He Said..."

I felt I could no longer endure the painful trial going on in my life for so long. In frustration, I cried out to God. "What are You doing to me?" He said, "I'm making a man of God out of you!" He continued, "I did not cause your pain but I'm using it."

The orthopedic doctor calls it a frozen shoulderJesus calls it healed

It's a muscle beneath the shoulder that becomes locked up and is painful. The orthopedic doctor said, "You must stretch your arm to loosen that muscle. Here are six exercises twice a day for six weeks including hanging on a bar. You must stretch your arm until it hurts. Then lean into the hurt and count for twenty seconds with excruciating pain and then repeat." 

After a few exercises I thought about the doctor, "He's got to be kidding me! It feels like I'm tearing my muscle apart. Like I'm ripping it out of my arm."

Is It a Good Pain or a Bad Pain?

He also advised me to visit a massage therapist. As she was working on my arm muscle I had to let her know something. "It hurts! That's painful!" She asked me a question, "But is it a good pain or a bad pain?" I said, "I am a no pain person."

I was told if you want to recover faster, you can have someone else stretch your arm because they will pull it farther than you would. I thought to myself, "How stupid is that?" 

But in desperation to end this ordeal, I chose a physical therapist to stretch my arm. The pain was so great, I laughed. I said to him, "Am I going crazy? Why did I laugh when I felt the worse pain of my life?" He said, "That's your release! 

That laughter is your release!"

I now believe pain can be an ingredient of laughter. I promise if you are now in pain that is beyond words, there will be a time when you will laugh again, and even drown in God's laughter.

"Blessed are you who weep now, for you shall laugh." Luke 6:21

There was a time when my pain almost stopped my ministry. On a ministry trip I became powerless to the pain that justified me not going to the next meeting. My wife and I prayed, but no relief. I phoned home to our intercessors for prayer. 

One intercessor, after praying, said, "Bill, you are on a mission. God has sent you there. You can trust Him." Something clicked in my spirit. I dragged my body to that meeting. The moment I stood up to minister the pain left me.

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After the meeting it returned with a vengeance. It fought me to the next meeting two days later. When I got up to minister it left again and then followed me home. As this took place with many of my meetings, something dawned on me. 

I am stretching my spiritual muscles! 

I want to encourage you. Sometimes you must walk through some stuff to get to where God is. But remember, you are on a mission and the great I AM has sent you!

Spiritual Frozen Muscles in the Body of Christ

Golden and silver trumpetsMany times what I experience in my physical body is what is going on in the Body of Christ. I sense the Lord showing there are some spiritual frozen muscles in His Body.

And I hear the Lord saying, "You need to stretch those muscles. Stretch until it hurts! Many of your healings will come while you are being stretched by others. 

I am stretching you this season out of your frozenness. I am stretching your arms farther than you would like, so they can reach around a world full of pain, sin and brokenness. 

Those frozen muscles will thaw from the fire of My Spirit as you allow Me to stretch you."

Being Stretched Against the Odds

A woman kept standing for the healing of her husband who suffered a stroke, leaving a third of his brain dead. The doctor said to her, "He will never fully recover and will be a vegetable the rest of his life." The woman said, "No, by the stripes of Jesus he is healed." 

The doctor got upset with her and said, "I don't think you are taking me seriously. I have been doctoring these cases for thirty years." The woman responded, "Jesus has been healing longer than that!" 

Nine days later he walked out of the hospital whole.

"And it shall come to pass in that day, that his burden (the enemy's burden) shall be taken away from off thy shoulder, and his yoke from off thy neck, and the yoke shall be destroyed because of the anointing." Isaiah 10:27

After several months of pain, prayers of many, stretching exercises and some laser treatment, my frozen shoulder is finally loosed. The pain is gone.

God has intervened again in my life.

But I have noticed something. If I don't keep stretching, the muscle will freeze again. It's the same spiritually. Lord, help us to keep stretching and allowing You to stretch us beyond our pain.

Bill Yount
Blowing the Shofar Ministries

Bill Yount has been a member of Bridge of Life in Hagerstown, Maryland, for the past 33 years where he is now an elder and a home missionary. He is currently an advisor at large for Aglow International. Bill faithfully served in prison ministry at Mount Hope for 23 years and now travels full-time, both in the U.S. and internationally, ministering in churches and Aglow circles. 

"Humility and humor" characterize his ministry as he brings forth a fresh word that is "in season," proclaiming the word of the Lord! The shofar (or ram's horn) is often used in his meetings, breaking the powers of darkness over regions, churches, and households. 

The shofar represents God's breath blowing into the nostrils of His people, reviving them and awakening the lost. Many of God's messages, which Bill ministers prophetically, come out of his everyday life with his family and friends.
October 21, 2013

Steve ShultzFrom the desk of Steve Shultz:

There are people I know who deal with real pain in their body. Bill Yount recently dealt with this and shares some of his painful experience with us... I appreciate his transparency in this story.

While God does not bring or give pain, He can most definitely use it and bring glory to His name, which you'll read about in Bill's article.

If you've been through some of what Bill shares here, make sure and write to him and let him know how his article encouraged you. AND for anyone experiencing pain even now, we Pray and Declare COMPLETE HEALING over your body in Jesus Name! Amen.

Blessings,
Steve
***

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